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26/01/2013 14:39
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
26/01/2013 14:38
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely.I wish my friends were back here."
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26/01/2013 14:35
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
26/01/2013 14:35
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
26/01/2013 14:34
A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken." The doctor says, "Why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "We would. But we need the eggs."
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26/01/2013 14:32
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
26/01/2013 14:31
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the...
26/01/2013 14:25
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
26/01/2013 14:25
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when...
26/01/2013 14:24
From a woman's point of view:
- The most perfect man in the world is her father :)
- The most abused husband in the world is her brother :p- The most handsome man in the world is her son :D
- The luckiest and happiest man in the world is her sister's husband ;)
- The most thankful man in the world...
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